


10 Second Best

by d__T



Series: put me to the test [3]
Category: Blood Drive (TV), Falling Skies
Genre: Communication, Emotions, F/M, M/M, canon typical cannibalism (Blood Drive), canon typical destruction and human life collateral (Falling Skies), life comes at you fast
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-07-19 07:16:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19970119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/d__T/pseuds/d__T
Summary: After Julian and Rasher leave Falling Skies, everyone has to deal with the aftermath of their choices. Julian and Rasher talk about it for the first of many times. Back in Falling Skies, we skip over John and the colonywalkingfrom Boston MA to Charleston SC, and 10 months later let him think about his present and future.





	1. 5 Days Later

**Author's Note:**

> Note for the tag wrangler reading this: Sarah and Sara are different characters, and no, canon didn't give either of them a last name. The other fic with John/Sarah got their names swapped and should be John/Sara. Join me in throwing hands at the writers for disrespecting all of their female characters and especially for giving Mira Sorvino such a cardboard cutout of a role.

Rasher wakes up on a tarp, gritty and crackly and cradled in the slot between a shipping container and the faded sunset side of of Julian’s Gremlin. He slowly sits up, skin itching something fierce, to see Julian reclining in a lawn chair in the scant shade of the shipping container.

“Hey.” Rasher croaks.

Julian startles, he must have been asleep behind his sunglasses. “Welcome back, baby.”

Rasher wiggles uncomfortably, reminding his joints what it’s like to move like a human. “How long?”

“Five days.”

Rasher rubs his face before crawling over to rest his head against Julian’s knees. Julian rubs the side of his head, not caring how gross he must be. “I had to move you. Marauders.”

Rasher nods tiredly. He’s useless when he’s angry soup.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“I’m tired.”

“Good, you won’t pretend you’re any less mad than you are.”

“ _I’m tired_ .” Rasher has just reintegrated the monster into his body. The first time took weeks of the parasite growing in his body, corrupting and destroying him. This was easier. More like a catastrophic transformation, his body already knowing how to live like this. Still hurts. Still exhausted. Julian’s still rubbing soothing little circles into the side of head.

“I already traded up bodies. You can have the old one.”

Rasher shakes his head, too tired to move again much less eat.

The smell of barbecue wakes him up again some time later. Night’s fallen over them, crystal clear and infinitely deep. It’s brought the cold with it, too.

The only light is coming from the fire that Julian has set. Julian’s beside it, shirtless, and the incongruity of Julian’s prissy persona tending meat and fire is hilarious to him.

Julian looks over at the sound of his laughter. “Ready to join the plain of the living?”

“Something like that.” Rasher drags himself over to the fire. “That yours?”

“It was gonna go bad.” Julian shrugs. “I fed the car already. There’s water in the bucket for you.”

There’s a bucket of clear water with a cloth draped through the handle waiting for him. He starts with his hair; the run-off will simply loosen the gunk stuck on the rest of him. The water is good with the radiant heat of the fire. He’s halfway done when Julian offers him the bones and offal.

Slowly he declines. “Let me pretend to be just human a little longer.”

Julian leaves him to it. He’d enjoyed being just himself, uncomplicated. John’s fear of him wasn’t anything supernatural- just more of all the different selfish emotions that they’d all gone into that with.

He dries himself off against the heat of the fire and gets half dressed. It’s feeling like a shirtless kind of evening despite that revealing his monstrosity.

“So you like being human?” Julian prompts, after he’s plated out the barbecue.

“I’m still mad at you.” Rasher reminds him. “Oh, this is good.”

Julian smirks at him but thankfully doesn't say anything while he eats, the post integration hunger briefly taking over him and ruining his attempt to organize his thoughts. 

"Part of the fantasy is that the other one of you goes away." Rasher finally says. "That the two of you are the same enough that maybe I can't tell the difference between you, or only because one of you is out of sync."

Julian looks stricken.

He keeps going. "John isn't you. It was really fucking good what you gave to me, but he's not you. He wanted you- you made him do that, you changed him." 

Julian nods. 

"You knew that, you knew he didn't fit the fantasy and you did him anyway." Rasher shakes his head. "He's going to want you for a long time, and you know how I feel about groupies." 

Several expressions flicker across Julian's face and he's too tired still to keep up. "Use your words." 

Julian huffs. "We'll never see him again." 

"That sounds like a promise." Rasher makes a clicky gesture, "Where's the -?"

"In your pack."

"It should be destroyed."

"Why-?"

"So you can't do any of your fucking shit." 

"Ah." Julian looks away into the dark, abashed. "I wouldn't go back there without you." 

"But you'd go back there. You'll be thinking about him, you want him and you know he wants you." Rasher accuses. 

"Yeah." Julian says slowly. "I think about your fantasy." 

"I think it's yours now. I got what I wanted, close enough and you put yourself in the middle of it and made it yours."

"I want you more." 

"Oh good, you can prioritize." Rasher sneers. "Act like it." 

"I missed you." Julian sits back, slouching, carved up by the firelight. "Four weeks out in the woods in the middle of a war. They had a thing about witches and changelings- I counted. I bought protection." 

"I know. I _get that_." Rasher grunts. "I don't have to like it. You should dote on me." 

Julian grins and moves around to be bare shoulder to shoulder with him. "My pleasure." 

Rasher leans his head on his shoulder. "Your stage persona has leeway, but this was all you." 

Julian kisses the top of his head. "Yeah."

"Don't do it again."

"I thought you didn't like promises?"

"You fucking dumbass."

"I won't do it again."


	2. 10 Months Later

In the tidal drawback after the battle, the blast, the retreat, Sara had walked out to the beachhead. To be alone with her thoughts and her losses, John supposes.

He follows her. Some things are not meant to be born alone, and the tidal wave is coming.

He's not the right man to do this. To provide comfort and the apology for saying it would be fun. He's not a good man or an honest one; just ask Maggie. But Sara doesn't reject his presence when he approaches.

That's when they find Bennett, burned just like Anthony had said.

It had been a good plan, good ugly fun, right until the explosion. He or Dingaan or Mason should have caught that earlier. Accounted for it.

But here's the cost of Mason's arrogance.

They might be alone out here but they're one with the community that evening; they dig a shallow grave, bury a body, say a prayer for the deliverance of the living over disturbed dirt and stone and a crude marker.

God rest your soul, Bennett.

Bennett was never one of his men, but John has lived and worked and fought with these men for over a year now. And they've buried his body in a shallow grave scraped out with rocks like that kind of thing is normal. He's done this enough times, this digging of holes to give the tidal wave some place to go. He doesn't know what he believes anymore.

This is Sara's first time. Welcome to the family.

Everything he could say is inadequate; it's not okay and they can't truly protect each other and it's too early to make reckless promises like that anyway. So he holds her hand to keep them both from being alone with their thoughts.

His other hand covers the cross on his chest. God, you do not believe in us. God, 70 people, for what? God, I left you a long time ago but you have left these people in their need.

God, where is your mercy now?

He squeezes her hand.

They go back to camp. 

**Author's Note:**

> yes I know the lyric is take second best but that doesn't work at all for this chapter and I'm not going back and getting a different lyric for this _now_.


End file.
